he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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