Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
this hospital has no fireball
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
