so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
