he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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