8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
