In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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