what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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