There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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