The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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