nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
