i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
