It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
