I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
