Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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