On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
