I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
