we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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