In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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