I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
