Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I think I am morally bankrupt
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize