You're completely useless in the revolution.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
