we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
