Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
