Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
