"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize