you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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