You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
And then he peed in my hair
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