Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
