Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
