Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
