My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It's just like the Real World with babies
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
