It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
