I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize