he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
