I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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