Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
