Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
