I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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