I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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