New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
