Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
