I am in a vortex of obligation.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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