Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
