So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
