wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
