And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
