in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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