Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
