i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
