You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
