well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
