Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Screwed.edu
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
