I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
