i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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