Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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