she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
