The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
