No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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