really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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