That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
They took my balls.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
