Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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