He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
