im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
