We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Randomize
