Screwed.edu
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
