wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Only a mothe r could love this liver
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
