Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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