My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
