If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
