Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
