that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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