Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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