I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We're too hungover to prance.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
