i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
